Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
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