i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize