I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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