i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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