there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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