i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm always down for nudity.
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