Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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