you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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