My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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