No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize