i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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