Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize