nut hugger
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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