One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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