i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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