didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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