the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize