God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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