I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize