I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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