I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As shirtless as possible
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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