im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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