i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize