Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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