No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize