It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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