she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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