plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize