i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize