He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
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we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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