Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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