I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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