O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize