Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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