so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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