He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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