she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize