This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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