Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize