i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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