I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize