True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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