let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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