I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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