need another drink. this is the easiest way
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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