just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize