I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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