Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize