Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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