After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My dick has a subreddit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize